I don't know about you, but I've become exhausted with what seems to be an endless onslaught of "experts" giving me advice on every aspect of my life. From ministry to finances, there seems to always be someone who has the "answer", and by implementing their program and philosophy, you too will become an enlightened expert: at least until the next "expert" steps up. Especially in the area of parenting, I have become especially frustrated. I've read countless books and attended seminars on how to be a better parent and help others to be better parents. But rather than feeling encouraged, I usually feel guilty and somewhat inadequate at what I have failed to do right or could have done better. My question is, who decides what is right when it comes to parenting my kids? If I follow a certain program or method, am I going to be transformed into "Superdad"? Obviously not! I think it's going to take a lot more in my case, because guess what? I make mistakes! A lot of them! I'm an imperfect person, living as an imperfect dad and husband, married to an imperfect wife, who is an imperfect mom. And you know what else? I'm OK with that!
Don't get me wrong; I do my best to be a parent. When you get right down to it, most of us with kids would give anything to have all the right answers. It's only natural for us to seek help anywhere we can get it. The problem is that a lot of well meaning experts create unrealistic standards and goals that are too high for even the best of parents to obtain. We get discouraged, depressed, feel guilty and many times we just give up. I see this happen time and time again in ministry. And when these high standards are set by the Church, people lose faith in the one organization that should encourage them the most and support them unconditionally; failures and all.
Reggie Joiner puts it this way, "God is at work telling the story of restoration and redemption through you family. Never buy into the myth that you need to become the "right" kind of parent before God can use you in your children's lives. Instead, learn to cooperate with whatever God desires to do in your heart today so your children will have a front-row seat to the grace and goodness of God."
Think about those words for a moment. Let them sink in. Resolve yourself to the fact the we are imperfect people. We are going to make mistakes over and over again. But sometimes those mistakes are what builds healthier, deeper and more spiritual relationships within our families. Kids need to see that mom and dad are not perfect, because they need to learn that they are imperfect as well. Most of all, if you're struggling with feeling like an inadequate parent, give yourself a break; at least for this weekend. Realize that within our imperfections and screw-ups, we are being used in the hands of a perfect God. How can we go wrong by being part of His continuing genealogy of imperfect people? The Bible is full of them. You may have lost your temper a few times, but Adam and Eve screwed up their entire family; forever. But despite all the bumps in the road, all the do overs, all the screw-ups and failures, in some mysterious and supernatural way, within our imperfections, we are actually being made perfect.
